Vandy Trip 1-14-13

Hello Friends,

I had two appointments on Monday 1-14-13 at Vanderbilt's Melanoma clinic.  One at 11 am with My Dermatologist who is a melanoma specialist and studies patients with multiple melanomas.  Then an appointment at 2:15 pm with my oncologist.

The full body skin check during my first appointment went great except for one new raised pink bump on the back of my left thigh.  Under dermoscopy this lesion had some tortuous blood vessels which raised suspicion to my Derm for Amelanotic Melanoma.  Since Amelanotic melanomas don't have pigment; dermatologist look for certain vessel patterns within the lesion under dermoscopy.  Since this new bump raised some suspicion I couldn't slide out of that appointment without a punch biopsy and some stitches.  It's ok though...better to be safe than sorry and besides I have had so many biopsies at this point that they don't even hurt.  This must be like 30 something haha!!!  I was really hoping to be able to follow up at 6 month increments but my derm feels it is in my best interest to continue 3 month surveillance due to having melanoma three times and multiple dysplastic nevi.  Anyhow, I get stitches out in two weeks and results hopefully tomorrow or monday.  I really feel like its going to be negative.  I'm just so ready to get on with my life.  I've been dealing with this stinkin melanoma since I turned 24 and I'm ready to put it behind me and move foreword.

My 2:15 pm appointment with my oncologist went a lot better than my earlier appointment.  Dr. K said my scans looked great.  He said I have big lymph nodes and yes they have increased a little but not enough to consider it unstable.  I have had enlarged nodes since my last surgery, could just be related to inflammation or the fact that these nodes are compensating for all the nodes I've had removed.  I told Dr. K I was really hoping to graduate to six month visits and he agreed. Yay!!!!  I also told him I'm really getting tired of all the scans.  I literally told him "I feel fine.  I just completed a 12 mile, 21 obstacle military style course in October.  Can you please just follow me clinically?'  Thankfully, He agreed.  He said I may still need to get at least an annual CT Chest, Abdomen, and Pelvis scan but we will stop with the every 3-6 month scanning.  He even said, "Go live your life.  If this comes back as stage 4 it's a poor prognosis whether we scan and find it or its found when you are symptomatic."  He said it really doesn't change the outcome because the best shot you have at beating this if it's found at stage four is finding a treatment this cancer will respond to." I don't want to wait around and worry if this is going to come back "Ain't no body Got time for that" lol... I have too much living I want to do now and if it comes back I will cross that bridge then but for now I'm fine.   I will have blood work and be followed clinically from here on out with maybe annual scans.

 My next appointment is with my Vandy Derm in April and my local oncologist in May.  I truly appreciate all of your love, prayers and support.  I will update as soon as I get the results from my recent biopsy.  I'm hoping for good news!  Only Positive thinking allowed :-)  Don't forget to share the love and spread the lotion to all those you meet.  God bless each of you!!!


Love,
Alicia

2013~New Opportunities~New Challenges

Hello Friends,

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted.  I have been busy working and spending quality time with my friends and family.  Life has been good!!!

I traveled to Nashville, TN for an ultrasound of the remaining lymph nodes in my bilateral inguinal region in Mid December.  I didn't get to see my oncologist at the time because he had to be out of town and we rescheduled to meet on January 14, 2013.  My report states that I have multiple enlarged inguinal lymph nodes however, the appearance is most likely inflammatory type.  The largest is in the left groin and measures 2.6 cm in greatest dimension.  Overall I feel good about the report and hopefully these nodes are just related to inflammation.  I see two doctors when I go to Vandy in January for a full body skin exam and to see my oncologist.  I'm looking up and hoping for good news!

This was in December during my trip to Vandy.  We took a little horse and carriage ride through downtown Nashville.

This is Pete the horse that took us around downtown Nashville

I've had another minor health issue going on for a while now cause anemia.  BOYS, if you are reading SKIP to the next Paragraph!  I'm having a D&C, endometrial ablation, and sterilization procedure on January 29, 2013.  Hopefully this will help with my anemia that is caused by 28 days of menstruation.  It's a very easy, minor procedure but It does require anesthesia so I appreciate your prayers.

We had a great Christmas vacation with our little family!  We don't go overboard on gift buying because Christmas means more about celebrating our hope in Jesus and sharing love with one another than spending money.  Andrew's favorite gift was his toy car and Livi loved her Merida Doll!  My greatest gift was getting the week off from work to spend every moment with my little family.

Andrew loves his car!  Livi loves her Merida Doll!

Andrew, Me, and Livi at Great Wolfe Lodge over Christmas vacation.

 
I have done a lot of reflecting about 2012 this past week and while there was some very trying times with walking my dear friend Joe through the dying process and finding the words to describe such an honorable person as he asked me to write/speak his eulogy-- my blessings far outweigh the bad. It was through my friend Joe that I found the courage to start running again and to sign up and complete Tough Mudder KY (some consider this the Toughest event on the planet) and to start back doing gymnastics (which I haven't done in YEARS).  God has been so good to me and blessed my family far more than we deserve.  I find that if I ever have a moment of feeling down and out, If I just start counting my blessings I realize they outnumber anything bad that has happened.

2013 will bring about new opportunities and Challenges to each of us.  It's how we respond to those things we face that will determine our outcome.  I personally pray for wisdom and for understanding as we face what 2013 brings to the plate.  I invite God to search me and cleans me from anything that will hold me back from bringing glory to Him.  God also gives us free will to make choices.  He gave us this life and it's up to us to do good with it.  I choose to run my little heart out and to do everything in my power to be as healthy as possible.  I'm signing up to run my first ever half marathon which is 13.1 miles on March 30, 2013 in Lexington, KY.  I'm also teaching gymnastics for a local school for Autism in January!

I saw this little quote on one of my friends fb page that said "You know all those things you've always wanted to do?  You should go Do Them."  It's called a "Bucket list".  So get a pen and piece of paper and start writing down all those things you want to do.  Surround yourself with people who will support you, start a blog, and do it for you!  Do it for your family!  Get out there and do all those things You want to do.  Life is short- Life is precious-Your life matters, so Make it Count!

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:19

Changes

Hello friends,  

How many of you like change? Anyone out there seem to embrace it and ready to roll with whatever is thrown your way?  Sometimes change is good and it’s a welcomed surprise...Other times change throws us a curveball and we feel emotion we didn’t even know we could have.  Change can make us angry, sad, hurt, confused....but change can also help us grow in many ways if we can embrace it and allow it to teach us a thing or two.  

Here in the last year, we have encountered lots of change.  Some of it has been good and some bad.  Some of the changes have caused me to get angry and feel hurt.  If i’m being completely honest, some of the changes, especially the ones I didn’t get to control made me down right want to say things out of my character.  First in January of 2012 my dear friend Joe, found out the treatment he was on was no longer working against the Black Beast Melanoma.  I was sick with grief over the fact that this monster was ravaging my friends body and taking up resident where IT didn’t belong!  The changes happening made me so angry!  I felt angry at myself more than anything because I couldn’t stop it...I truly thought I had the power and enough faith to save my friend.  Change is hard....

After my friend Joe passed away in February 2012, my best friend Debra moved away. I was completely shocked!   We have worked together for close to six years and she is like my long lost sister.  We always joked that she is the female version of Joe. They are literally so much alike it’s scary! The three of us were inseparable those last few months of Joe’s life.  If Joe wanted Broccoli and Cheese soup from Panera, I could call Deb and she’d be right there to serve it to him. We spent every moment we could with him and his family to help comfort in some way.  Deb was with me and Joe’s family the night he took his last breath...That’s how Joe wanted it.  He said, “When the time comes I wan’t to be surrounded by my mom, my sisters, and my two best friends; You and Deb”.   We’ve been through a lot together.  Deb is that friend that I can seriously tell anything and she always knows what to say to make me laugh.  She loves me for who I am flaws and all.  I miss being able to drive five minutes to see her but I know there is a purpose for these changes.  Still Change is hard....

Just this past month a lot of changes have taken place with my job.  I had been working for this company for 8 1/2 years and had plans of settling into this place until retirement.  I thought my best friends Hattie, Deb and I would be doing sonograms til we  were old ladies.  These people have been with me through chemo and the birth of my children....we are like family, to separate us would be insane.  My husband and I recently bought a new home just a year ago 5 minutes from my work place because we just knew that’s where I would work for years to come.  About a year ago an opportunity came up to continue working for my company/department but it would require an hour commute to and from work each day.  I had been working nights and weekends for the past 7 1/2 years, and this new job was dayshift only and no call.  I took the position with the thoughts of being next in line for the next available dayshift position within my department.  This position was the next best thing until that coveted dayshift position became available locally.  Well those were my plans, but that’s not how things worked out. A year goes by and lots of changes happened.  The things I was told, were not true...the traveling position became a permanent position without the option of transferring back to my old job.  Because of my history with stage 3 melanoma, transferring jobs and insurance is a scary topic, so at times I feel stuck to do what ever the company asks me do.  Yes, this was very difficult for me to swallow and completely out of my control.  This was change that I didn’t embrace so easily.  This was change that made me angry and I became physically ill over it.  The new position will entail taking call and I live an hour away...not something I want to do when I have small children and my family lives four hours away.  Definitely not something I want to do when I have worked “crappy” shifts and put in my time over the years. Change is hard....

Just this morning our children’s pastor and wife made the announcement that they are moving from our church...God has called them to another church closer to their family. This is a change that is very difficult for them and us but at the same time a joyous move closer to family.   I have to admit, I was selfishly saddened by this news.  K and J have allowed God to impact our lives and our church in a Big way.  After much thought and prayer this is what I put on K’s fb wall: Change is hard but sometimes it’s necessary.  Change is uncomfortable but God is more concerned with our hearts and growing us than He is with our comfort.  Pastor K and J, You will be missed tremendously!  I have no doubt that God is going to use you three in a mighty way to impact His kingdom.  you have done so much in the lives of our children and for that we are eternally grateful.  We are so thankful to call you friends!  K you are an amazing leader and it was an honor to finish Tough Mudder Ky with you.  I also want to say I’m so proud of my Livi girl.  After church was over, I asked her if she was ok and she responded with “Yes.  I’m Ok...I was the only one not crying this morning.”  she said “I was too busy hugging and helping everyone else who was crying.”  I asked her if she understood that you guys are moving away and would no longer be our children’s pastors and she said, “Yes, but we can drive to see them sometime if we want to.” Again, thanks for impacting our lives!  We are blessed because of you.

Change may be hard but God has a plan and even though some changes are out of our control...They are not out of God’s control.  On the bright side, I had coffee time with my friend Deb this evening before she traveled back to her new home.    Distance may separate us but our friendship is stronger than the roads between us.  Even though I no longer work with my Best friend Hattie, we still go to church together and live in the same town...She even traveled to Charlotte to run the Melanoma 5K with me.  Our friendship is stronger than not working in the same department.  And as for that new job I was so grudgingly not accepting of...well I’ve met some new friends who happen to be amazing!!!  These people love me and cheer for me. They even bought me a cake when I passed my Vascular Boards.  I enjoy their company and we are a great team together.  I realize now, I’m just where I need to be.  Change is hard....but sometimes the things we see as a huge burden can turn out to be just what we needed all along.  

Since I’m talking about Changes, I find it only fitting to make sure you are aware of any changes on your skin...as these changes can be bad!!!  Check moles for the ABCDE’s:  Asymmetry, Border irregularity, Color changes, Diameter, and Evolving.  If it itches, bleeds, or just looks funky get it removed ASAP!!!  As always please share the love and spread the Chemical free lotion to all those around you.  Much love and God bless!!!

AIM For A Cure 2012-Charlotte, NC

Hello Friends,

I remember stumbling upon a post on Facebook back in January 2012 from the Melanoma Prayer Center about AIM at Melanoma's walk/fun run in Charlotte, NC.  I remember thinking how awesome it would be to raise a bunch of money not just for cancer in general but specifically for Melanoma.  The number of people diagnosed with melanoma is on the rise and sadly the number of deaths due to Melanoma continues to increase.  More research for better treatments need to be available!!!  If Melanoma is caught early the chance of survival is great, something like 99%.  But if Melanoma is caught in the later stages, there aren't good treatment options.  If you are diagnosed with stage II the only treatment option is surgical wide excision and interferon (and some oncologists don't even use interferon for stage II).  If you are diagnosed with stage III the FDA treatment options are surgical wide excision, Lymph node dissection or Ultrasound surveillance, and High Dose Interferon Alpha 2b for One Year.  If you are diagnosed with stage IV the treatments are surgery, Interleukin 2, Zelboraf if you have BRAF mutation, and Yervoy.  Sadly only about 10% of those with stage IV Melanoma survive...We need to change this and take Melanoma Down!!!!

Saturday Nov 17, 2012 the AIM for a Cure Melanoma Walk/Fun Run was a reality.  I was so excited and blessed to meet many of the melanoma warriors I follow on fb and blogs in person.  I was so thankful to travel from Kentucky to North Carolina with my best friends Hattie and Jason, My Mom and Step Dad, My little Sis Teaonna, My babies Livi and Andrew, and My biggest Fan--My Hubby Aaron.  Thanks to those who sent in donations for Hattie and I, we turned in over $1,700!!! Thanks to Randi for helping get our T-shirts for the event, while I'm so last minute! At the time of the event over $60,000 was raised to Show Melanoma Who's Boss!!!

I didn't get the opportunity to grab a hug from Anne, who organized the event, but I want to say: Anne You did an amazing job!!!!  There was free skin cancer screenings from Charlotte Dermatologists, UV skins was there, Awesome T-shirts, Free Starbucks Coffee, Bagels w/ cream cheese, protein bars, water, oranges, chemical-free Aveeno Sunscreen, lots of awesome giveaways, and hundreds of people affected by Melanoma.  I was moved to tears as I listened to those who spoke at the event about their loved one's who passed away from this horrible beast!  Sadly, one of the things I observed as I looked around was how many young people were getting the purple survivor shirts at the event.  We have to stop this beast!!!!

There were lots of people walking and some running...I decided to run, mainly because it was cold and I wanted to warm up.  I had so many names I wanted to put on the back of my shirt because sadly I know way too many people in my personal circle who have/are battling this disease, but I picked four: Joe Stevens (passed away Feb 13, 2012), Me (stage 3-battled 3 x's), Kim Blevins (stage 3-battled 2 x's), Jen Christie (stage IV warrior-Fighting for her life), and All Cancer Warriors!  I want you all to know that I ran for Donna from the Cancer spot, My friend Casey T. from back home, Kasee K. from back home, Megan F. from work, Sara W. my running friend, Eric Sizemore, my patients I meet with melanoma, my fb Melanoma friends, My Blogger Melanoma Friends and those who I've never met but connected because of this horrible disease.  I Run for all of You!!!

Here are the Pics from the Event:  Enjoy......

All the walkers/runners for the Event

Livi-I run for My Mommy and All the Cancer Warriors
Teaonna- I run for My Sister and All the Cancer Warriors

The Back of Our Shirts

Teaonna and Livi

My little Andrew

Hattie and I Running for all the Melanoma Warriors

Mom, Livi, Me, and Teaonna

Livi, Aaron, Andrew, and Me--Andrew didn't want to pose for the pic

Mark, Me, and Rich--check out those TuTu's.  Rich writes Hotel Melanoma

Carol and I.  Carol writes Attitude of Gratitude

Chelsea and I.  Chelsea writes Adventures With My Enemy Melanoma

It was such a blessing meeting all of you and getting to hug you in person!  I hate that we all share this common bond with this ugly Beast, But together we are Showing Melanoma Who's Boss!!!!

This Time Last Year

Hello Friends,

This time last year, November 20, 2011 to be exact, my little girl Livi had been sick for over a week with a Strep/Mono combo. For several days in a row she had fevers reaching above 105... It was very scary! Since my family lives four hours away, my hubby and I have to arrange our work schedules during times like these to be able to care for our kids.  I remember like it was yesterday calling my friend Brittany, who worked midnights, to see if we could trade days so I could be home during the day to take care of my sick little Livi while my hubby was at work.  Thankfully she traded with me and I was set to work Sunday and Monday midnights in the ultrasound department.  

I clocked into work at 6pm and began taking care of my patients.  During my lunch break I received a text from my friend Joe, who is an ER nurse friend of mine also battling Melanoma.  For those who don't know about Joe, let me give you a little history---Joe was diagnosed with stage 3a melanoma on his upper back with positive sentinel lymph node under his arm.  Joe did the full lymph node dissection and all other nodes came back clean. In June 2011 Joe's scans revealed a lung mass and surgery confirmed it was metastatic melanoma.  Joe went on to have half of his lung removed and was told he had clear scans in October 2011.  Since there was no evidence of measurable disease his Dr's said there was no adjuvent chemo he could do other than interferon since his scans were clean.  Now fast forward to November 20, 2011 when I received the text message from my friends Joe.  The text read: "Alicia, I think it's back." I responded with "Where are you?".  He responded with "The ER room 22".  I responded with "I'll be right there".  

When I got down to Joe's room I could see he was lethargic, sweating, and his urinal was black.  He looked at me and said "I think I'm dying"  "I know it's back".  The next day scans confirmed our worse fears that the melanoma had invaded Joe's liver, bones, spleen, lung, and brain.  Joe tested positive for the BRAF mutation and began the treatment Zelboraf.  I tried to be there with my friend every day to support him, encourage him, and to just listen when he needed someone to talk to.  My friend Jennifer Christie, was also on Zelboraf at the time helped us more than she will ever know while Joe was battling.  My friend Joe passed away at the young age of 33 on Feb 13, 2012.  Before Joe passed away I told him about the AIM at Melanoma 5K that was held Nov 17, 2012 in Charlotte NC.  Joe said, "I won't make it that long, but Run for Me."  

Friends as we gather together this Thanksgiving please remember Joe and pray for his family.  He is missed tremendously!!!  I still have his voicemails on my cell phone and I listen to them whenever I need a boost of encouragement.  Please don't forget to check your skin for anything that seems new or out of the ordinary.  Joe's melanoma was on his upper back and his momma told him over and over to get it checked.  My first Melanoma was on my left hip during pregnancy and had I not waited over a year to get it checked mine might have been caught earlier than stage 3.  Melanoma is not just skin cancer!  It can and will Kill no matter what color or how old you are!  Please make the call to get your skin checked with a dermatologist!  Don't forget to share the love and spread the (chemical-free) lotion! Much love and God Bless Each of you!!!!

Joe and his precious Momma

Patience

Hello friends,

Have you ever been in a situation where you send up a quick prayer asking "God give me patience or I'm going to end up coming unglued and lose my cool?" I don't know about you but sometimes I say those quick prayers as if Im expecting God to just wave a magic wand and "zap" me with some patience in about 2 seconds. I totally believe God could zap me with patience real quick but thats not the way He works. Patience is something that must be developed by experiencing and living thru trials or while waiting for something our heart longs for.

You see the very situation that is testing us to the point of complete breakdown is what develops patience. Its the moment when we quit trying to control the situation and we give it to God. Patience isn't something we can give ourselves by chanting over and over in our head "I need to be patient, I need to be patient, I need to be patient." That only prolongs the ticking time bomb that is going to go off when someone flips our switch so to speak. God is the giver of patience and its given by allowing Him complete control over our circumstances.

The book of James talks about developing patience through trials in this scripture: My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:2-5 NKJV)

God in the midst of our trials or while waiting for the "door(s)" to open help us develop patience and give us wisdom when we have to make serious life changing decisions. I know my life is in your hands and you are in control. You are the giver of love and peace. And your love never fails. Thank you for blessing me with far more than I deserve and most of all thank you for loving me while I was so unloveable. In Jesus name, Amen.

"Jesus has me here for a reason"

Hello friends,  

 

Sometimes we find ourselves in circumstances completely out of our control.  I see this quote "God doesn't give us more than we can handle"flash across facebook and twitter status when tragic situations are happening.  But the truth is, sometimes we are given way more than We can handle!  We are not Strong Enough!!! That's why Jesus says "come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  I believe that statement should say sometimes we are given way more than we can handle, but give your fears, your panic, your sense of out-of-control to Jesus and He will help you handle what you are given.  And secondly I don't believe it's God who puts us in these terrible situations...terrible things happen because we live in a fallen world with lots of evil all around us.  Read about Paul's thorn in 2 Corinthians Chapter 12, where Paul says his thorn was given to him as a messenger of Satan to torment him--God did not give Paul his thorn but He helped him deal with it.  Paul goes on to say "when I am weak, then He is strong".  While we may find ourselves in the midst of complete turmoil Jesus is the one that gives us power in our weakness...While the storm is raging on the outside... Jesus gives us peace that passes understanding on the inside.  Panic and Fear IS NOT from God!!!  2 Timothy 1:7 says "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."  

I tell you these things today because it's something I must constantly remind myself.  I have to admit, I am a control freak!!!  I would love to tell you that I never fear, I never panic, and I never get that feeling to run away from what I'm facing as fast as I can...but that is not true.  The truth is while I look calm and collected on the outside, I am completely freaking out on the inside!  I have hidden these scriptures in my heart and they are always the go to verses when something Bigger than me is going on.  When I read 2 Timothy 1:7 I immediately feel powerful and while I know I'm not in control, it gives me peace knowing that Jesus is in control. 

This whole post was inspired by my friend Jess who is a great example of obedience and trusting God during a devastating situation.  She flew out yesterday to D.C. for an appointment at the National Institute of Health.  Jess has been battling brain tumors from Neurofibromatosis and been on chemo for a year.  As most of you know there is severe weather going on due to "Frankenstorm" Sandy which is hitting the D.C. area today.  After my friend made it to D.C. she was told all federal buildings would be closed today due to the severe storm, including the NIH.  Then to top it off her flight for tonight has also been cancelled.  She is stuck in D.C. and  can't even see her Dr, which was the whole reason she went there in the first place.  Now I don't know about you but I think that is a totally acceptable situation to throw a complete fit or at least complain a little about.  But not Jess... She was asking what would be some fun things to do today considering things would be closed around town and she can't see her Dr.  She even thought about greeting people at her hotel as they came in from the storm.  I told Jess, I'm so sorry you're going through this....This completely sucks!!!  and Her response was "Jesus has me here for a reason."  Wow!!!  

When my friend Jess said that, it completely changed things for me.  I thought how Powerful and How True!  While God may not cause the thorns in our sides and He will help us handle them, there's also a greater purpose for going through the thorn bush.  There may be someone else we can help along the way.  What if each of us took our focus off of the things that we can't control?  What if we quit thinking about how terrible the situation is for us and pondered maybe "Jesus has me here for a reason"?